The Pregnant Bridesmaid Dilemma

You are in the middle of planning your wedding, you have chosen your venue, found your dream gown, and have lined up all of your dearest friends to be in your bridal party. Things are going smoothly, until the day one of your bridesmaids announces that she is pregnant. This is some advice to help you manage the pregnant bridesmaid dilemma in a way that will make everyone happy.

When you find out that one of your bridesmaids is going to have a baby, naturally your first reaction is going to be joy. After all, she is one of your closest friends, or even a sister, so you will be thrilled about her good news. It would be only natural, however, to also have some concerns about how this new development will impact your wedding. Of course, you wouldn’t say anything about it at the time your friend is sharing her joyous news, but it is only human to have that selfish moment where you wonder what this is going to do to your wedding party. As long as you handle the situation with tact and thoughtfulness, everything can surely be worked out in a positive way.

Of course one of the biggest questions is how close your bridesmaid’s due date is to your wedding date. If she is going to be in her 9th month, or perhaps even have the baby shortly before your wedding, it would be best all around if she resigns her role as bridesmaid. There is no easy way to suggest to a friend that she should drop out of your bridal party, and so you should not ask her to. It would be perfectly fine, however, to mention to her that you would not be at all offended if she felt like planning to be in your wedding right around her due date was too much to manage. The chances are that she will be relieved to be let off the hook without hurting your feelings.

Often when a bridesmaid cannot practically serve, you can find another ceremonial role for her in honor of your close relationship that will be less demanding. You could ask her to do a reading during your ceremony or perhaps to sit by the guest book and greet your guests as they enter the reception. These special duties will let everyone know that this person is important to you, yet they will not be physically taxing for a woman who is advanced in her pregnancy. Of course, you would want to have a substitute lined up in case she was unable to attend at the last minute.

If she will not be as far along, there is no reason to expect a pregnant bridesmaid to step down (unless of course, she feels is is necessary, in which case the bride must graciously accept her wishes). Gone are the days when people who have looked askew at an obviously pregnant member of the bridal party standing up at the altar. There are actually maternity styles available for bridesmaids in certain collections, which goes to show that this is quite a common situation. Allow the pregnant bridesmaid to select a style of dress in which she feels comfortable, as long as it is in your chosen color. For instance, if the rest of the bridal party is wearing a pink strapless dress, she might wear a dress in the same colors with spaghetti straps or a v-neck. Another accommodation that you will want to make is to have a chair for her during the ceremony, even if the rest of the wedding party will remain standing.

Whether she is able to participate in the wedding ceremony or not, be sure to include your pregnant bridesmaid in all of the pre-wedding festivities and to give her one of the bridesmaid gifts. Even if in the end she cannot attend your wedding, the bridesmaid gifts and party invitations are a way of letting her know how much you value her friendship. Because it is friendship, after all, that is the whole point of having bridesmaids stand up with you at your wedding.

Laura helps brides with their wedding plans by offering advice on selecting bridesmaids gifts,reception ideas and other aspects of planning a wedding. Thank your friends for being a part of your wedding with beautiful and unique bridesmaid gifts.

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